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Finding out in Dec 95 that I was H.I.V positive was a devastating time for me being married to the man I truly loved and having my son who needed me the most. I felt my whole world just blew away that fast. My husband at the time didn't have the virus I was relieved to know he was ok my son was also tested as well that was even more better knowing he was fine as well but me on the other hand had along road ahead to deal with the fact of being HIV+ the first thing I thought was I am going to die! I couldn't sleep nor eat constantly thinking what am I going to do?
The doctors on the military base brought in a Psychologist to talk to me about the situation well I sat there and listened to her introduce herself and she asked me how did I feel about my diagnoses I just looked at her and said its something I am going to have to deal with regardless and I am just going to have to except it no matter what nothing can change this its done and I have to figure out what to do about it as it comes I finally told her lets not waste each others time because I know I am going to have to just stop the crying stop the feeling sorry for myself and deal with whatever comes and fight this she agreed.
I figured instead of being in fear I have to fight this by taking care of myself taking my meds right ,Going to the doctor eating the right foods exercising, I don't let it worry me I figured if it worried me it was going to take a toll on my body and my mind truly was going to take me down yes I know I have the virus but I don't have to think about it 24/7 either. I live my life doing what I want to do everyday and not worrying about who knows I have it which at one point in time that was another issue I had I would rather tell people I have it now why cause I want them to know yes its out here and if it can happen to me it can to you as well maybe they will think about it before they maybe make a mistake or realize what some people have to go through in life dealing with trying to cope with a disease and trying to stay healthy But I have realized myself the virus can be managed just like as if it was diabetes I maintain my virus by controlling it and not letting it control me I refuse to let this take me down I have alot out here to see in this world and do. I have many goals to beat this disease, That's why I live my life positive.